• Khadijah Khalid

How to Manage Expectations as Parents of Children with Developmental Delay

Updated: Aug 29, 2020

'Expectations' is defined as a strong belief that something will happen or be the case. Managing expectations means communicating so that all involved have a clear understanding of what to expect and when to expect it. It also requires keeping communications open.

Why it is so important?

Everyone has dreams and interest. Not everything that we love and want to pursue will be the same as others. Sometimes the things that we want are beyond of our capabilities. That is life anyway and provision of God - He created something in this world with strengths and weaknesses so that we can know each other, help and respect.

What will happen when expectations collide with reality?

In short, those involved will feel unhappy and the things they do will not work. Reality is something we cannot take lightly. It is something we have to go through every day. That is why it is crucial that we need to be realistic when we place hope or expectation. We are not only making ourselves to feel good but also people around us.

Children with developmental delay

Children with developmental delay are children of diverse backgrounds, medical history, social status and needs. The skills they have in terms of physical, motor, cognitive, social, speech and language development are late compared to their peers. They need proper training and constant effort for them to achieve a skill comparable to their peers and become independent.

How to manage the expectations when you have children with developmental delay?

1. Be realistic and think about 'their world', not just our own.

The majority of human beings fail to look at things from the other person’s perspective and this leads to personalising and internalising when partners, friends or children fail us. Instead, if we actually look at what is going on in their lives and explore the pressures they are facing, we can de-escalate our difficult feelings and find ourselves in a more supportive context.

When we think about 'their world', we are not only being fair to the children but we also help us to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with them.

2. Constantly seeking for help